He met her on a party. She was so outstanding that many guys were already chasing after her. He suddenly felt so normal, he noticed that nobody was paying attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him. She was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop,he was too nervous to say anything,she felt uncomfortable she thought, please let me go home...
Suddenly he asked the waiter, "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him in shock! His face turned red,but still,he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.
She asked him curiously: is this not a strange habit?
He replied "when I was a little boy, I was living near to sea. I enjoyed playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea. I guess I simply like the taste of the
salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there".
While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can talk out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, and assumes responsibility of home.
Then she also started talking about herself, about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice discussion, but also the beginning of a very beautiful story. They continued to date. She soon realised that actually he was the man who checked all the boxes; he was tolerant, kind, warm hearted, attentive and caring. He was a true diamond that she nearly missed! But no, no - thanks to his salty coffee!
The rest of the story goes just like any beautiful love story , the princess married the prince, they lived a happy life...
And,every time she made his coffee, she put some salt in it, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years he passed away but left behind him a letter addressed to the woman he loved the most in his life which read:
'My dearest, please forgive me, forgive the lie of my whole life. This was the only lie I've ever told you. The salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time. I only meant to ask for some sugar, but I said salt. I did. I could not change what I said so I just carried along..I never thought that exact moment of immense embarrassment would be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in the course of our beautiful and happy life, but I was too afraid, too scared...
Remember I promised not to lie to you about anything, ever? I do my love and I always did. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I can tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee. Oh, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee every day in my whole life! Since I've met you, I never felt sorry for anything I did for you, for us.
Having you with me has all I could ask for. A salty coffee could not take all the happiness away.
Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what does salty coffee taste like?
"It's sweet." She replied.
Love is not to forget but to forgive.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, '...that's her.'
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Thursday, 27 November 2008
52 things you would love to say out loud at work
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29.. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44.. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
45. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
51. Don't believe everything you think.
52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
Thursday, 17 April 2008
More Women on The Trading Floor – A New World Order
Alternative Title: When coffee won’t help you wake up….
I arrived at work with about 10 minutes to spare and grabbed a croissant and a latte. While I am having breakfast, I also like to read the paper and enjoy some silence as the sun comes up. That’s too bad though, because I live and work in London, where the sun is too busy playing hide-and-seek with the clouds and looking at a screen is the most certain –if not the only – way to ‘prove’ you are actually working.
What I can do though is to login on Bloomberg and read pretty much about everything. Instead of that I chose the Most Read News category. This news category comes recommended for when having breakfast, but usually I do not opt to read what everyone else already knows. I rely on the fact that news travel fast – even when they should have stayed home.
So, I clicked on the story titled “Blame Your Sex Drive for Credit-Crunch Worries” – that sounds like fun, I thought. It must be about these sexy-feeling traders that “made love” to the financial market, until it dropped dead. And it was… well, sort of… The article reveals that neuroscientists have recently performed a (valid?) experiment which suggested that when men are thinking about sex, they are more likely to take financial risk in the hope of accumulating greater wealth to attract women.
I know what you’re thinking! No, the research did not address the sort of women targeted by this ingenious technique….. But the most interesting part comes now! Neuroscientists commenting on their findings said that women were not tested because it’s harder to find an erotic image that all respond to. That’s it! The most Mickey-Mouse scientific explanation I have ever read.
How about Johny Depp, guys? I trust him and many many other guys could do the trick! After all what you really want is to get women to think about sex not ready to have sex, right? The sex-related image shown to men was one of a couple in an erotic pose. Do you think that the same image would fail to make women think about sex? Thank goodness, I didn’t go study I the USA…..
But wait a sec! Is this the reason women were not tested? Maybe not… thinking about it twice, I reckon the real trouble must have been finding enough women on the trading floor to conduct the experiment in the fist place! ;) Gotcha!
So, instead of wasting money in research that adds no value to the industry, wouldn’t it be so much better if banks were encouraged to get more women on the trading floor? It’s obvious that men have seriously messed up the world in the absence of women. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be eye-pocket-witnessing the largest financial crisis since Great Depression, now would we? Eh, Mr Smart-Pants-Male-Trader?
Maybe, this is the quickest possible and most natural way to boost the world economy!
What I can do though is to login on Bloomberg and read pretty much about everything. Instead of that I chose the Most Read News category. This news category comes recommended for when having breakfast, but usually I do not opt to read what everyone else already knows. I rely on the fact that news travel fast – even when they should have stayed home.
So, I clicked on the story titled “Blame Your Sex Drive for Credit-Crunch Worries” – that sounds like fun, I thought. It must be about these sexy-feeling traders that “made love” to the financial market, until it dropped dead. And it was… well, sort of… The article reveals that neuroscientists have recently performed a (valid?) experiment which suggested that when men are thinking about sex, they are more likely to take financial risk in the hope of accumulating greater wealth to attract women.
I know what you’re thinking! No, the research did not address the sort of women targeted by this ingenious technique….. But the most interesting part comes now! Neuroscientists commenting on their findings said that women were not tested because it’s harder to find an erotic image that all respond to. That’s it! The most Mickey-Mouse scientific explanation I have ever read.
How about Johny Depp, guys? I trust him and many many other guys could do the trick! After all what you really want is to get women to think about sex not ready to have sex, right? The sex-related image shown to men was one of a couple in an erotic pose. Do you think that the same image would fail to make women think about sex? Thank goodness, I didn’t go study I the USA…..
But wait a sec! Is this the reason women were not tested? Maybe not… thinking about it twice, I reckon the real trouble must have been finding enough women on the trading floor to conduct the experiment in the fist place! ;) Gotcha!
So, instead of wasting money in research that adds no value to the industry, wouldn’t it be so much better if banks were encouraged to get more women on the trading floor? It’s obvious that men have seriously messed up the world in the absence of women. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be eye-pocket-witnessing the largest financial crisis since Great Depression, now would we? Eh, Mr Smart-Pants-Male-Trader?
Maybe, this is the quickest possible and most natural way to boost the world economy!
Friday, 15 February 2008
Baftas Awards spiced with a bit of Humor
Well, thank the gods, the Writers’ Guild of America has ceased its strike! I can go back to legally downloading and watching US series. Those damned writers disrupted a routine that had taken me months to develop. I was, at the height of my abilities, legally watching between 5 and 7 series simultaneously. But enough about me.
Let us talk about that other TV programme that had everyone talking a few days ago, as they were panicking that the Writers strike was going to block the Oscars, the Holiest of Holy Award Ceremonies. Yes, a few days ago we were graced by stars walking down a red carpet in London, to receive their very own British Academy of Film and Television Arts Award (sponsored by Orange, just like rugby. Classy).
In fact, several deserving individuals did win awards. Atonement won best film even though it had been nominated for 14 BAFTAs. It did also win a technical award. Best male actor was taken by Daniel Day Lewis for There Will Be Blood, which I have heard mentioned as film of the decade by fellow filmmakers. Marion Cotillard won the award for best actress after a masterful job in La Vie En Rose, where she completely transforms from one scene to the next.
The Coen brothers took home a Best Director award for No Country for Old Men (I wonder whose room they keep that, do you think they fight over it, does their mum decide?), which I absolutely adored and will definitely watch in the cinema; at some point. The supporting actor and actress were also very, very good. Tilda Swinton, whose green frock I still have nightmares about), accepted the award best supporting actress for a contained explosion of a performance in Michael Clayton, while Javier Bardem managed to avoid the pitfall Antonio Banderas and Penelope Cruz fell into when acting in Hollywood. Being crap in English. Even though these actors have given incredibly intricate performances in Spanish films, upon reaching Hollywood it’s all downhill. Bad directing I tell you. In any case, Javier Bardem steals the show in No Country For Old Men, as the psychotic hitman. Well done Javier!
Was Sweeney Todd nominated for something? I hope it didn’t win. You pay good money and see one of those films in the cinema… I miss the old Tim Burton, the miserable unhappy man. This guy with the girlfriend and the kids just doesn’t cut it. Anyway…
Speaking of award ceremonies, there is a very easy way of finding excellent European, Asian, etc. films to watch. Screen Daily(Screendaily.com) and Variety(Variety.com) have all of the news and detailed list of other award ceremonies and festivals (http://www.screendaily.com/AwardsMicrosite/ScreenDailyAwardsMicrositeHome.aspx?Category=642?WT.mc_id=GoogleReg_PPC&?WT.srch=1&gclid=CM_alK-VxpECFRnQXgodagPczA). That’s how I figure out what to legally download and watch next. I wonder if they will even have enough for the red carpet at the Oscars this year, what with all the revenue they must be losing from me not going to the cinema.
Let us talk about that other TV programme that had everyone talking a few days ago, as they were panicking that the Writers strike was going to block the Oscars, the Holiest of Holy Award Ceremonies. Yes, a few days ago we were graced by stars walking down a red carpet in London, to receive their very own British Academy of Film and Television Arts Award (sponsored by Orange, just like rugby. Classy).
In fact, several deserving individuals did win awards. Atonement won best film even though it had been nominated for 14 BAFTAs. It did also win a technical award. Best male actor was taken by Daniel Day Lewis for There Will Be Blood, which I have heard mentioned as film of the decade by fellow filmmakers. Marion Cotillard won the award for best actress after a masterful job in La Vie En Rose, where she completely transforms from one scene to the next.
The Coen brothers took home a Best Director award for No Country for Old Men (I wonder whose room they keep that, do you think they fight over it, does their mum decide?), which I absolutely adored and will definitely watch in the cinema; at some point. The supporting actor and actress were also very, very good. Tilda Swinton, whose green frock I still have nightmares about), accepted the award best supporting actress for a contained explosion of a performance in Michael Clayton, while Javier Bardem managed to avoid the pitfall Antonio Banderas and Penelope Cruz fell into when acting in Hollywood. Being crap in English. Even though these actors have given incredibly intricate performances in Spanish films, upon reaching Hollywood it’s all downhill. Bad directing I tell you. In any case, Javier Bardem steals the show in No Country For Old Men, as the psychotic hitman. Well done Javier!
Was Sweeney Todd nominated for something? I hope it didn’t win. You pay good money and see one of those films in the cinema… I miss the old Tim Burton, the miserable unhappy man. This guy with the girlfriend and the kids just doesn’t cut it. Anyway…
Speaking of award ceremonies, there is a very easy way of finding excellent European, Asian, etc. films to watch. Screen Daily(Screendaily.com) and Variety(Variety.com) have all of the news and detailed list of other award ceremonies and festivals (http://www.screendaily.com/AwardsMicrosite/ScreenDailyAwardsMicrositeHome.aspx?Category=642?WT.mc_id=GoogleReg_PPC&?WT.srch=1&gclid=CM_alK-VxpECFRnQXgodagPczA). That’s how I figure out what to legally download and watch next. I wonder if they will even have enough for the red carpet at the Oscars this year, what with all the revenue they must be losing from me not going to the cinema.
Monday, 11 February 2008
Doing the "money-laundry"
Money laundering is a global problem.
How do you hide a million in cash? Staying one step ahead of the law has lead to increasingly sophisticated methods of hiding dirty money and we all know how much criminals love playing hide and seek with the law.
Money launderers can use any of the following methods to hide dirty money:
1. Transport the cash to another country and dispose it there.
2. Put the cash into a bank or other financial business.
3. Purchase a luxury item.
4. Channel money through a shell company*.
5. Channel money through a legitimate company.
6. Purchase instruments such as travellers' cheques or bankers' drafts, which are legitimate instruments used for overseas exchange purposes
The money laundering process may vary depending on the criminal organisation’s available laundering mechanisms. However, all criminals attempting to launder funds have three requirements in common, which are to:
- conceal the true ownership and origin of the funds,
- maintain control over the proceeds,
- convert cash into other assets as quickly as possible.
And to do so, they need to go three stages. Irrespectively of whether these three stages occur simultaneously, overlap, or occur as separate and distinct phases, the money laundering process stages are:
1. Placement. At this stage, the launderer needs to transform banknotes into non-cash assets. The launderer’s first step is to place this physical cash with some form of financial institution and/or to purchase some form of asset. They usually prefer to purchase luxurious items using the illegally-derived cash. Alternatively, it could be deposited in a bank or placed through a non-bank financial institution such as a currency exchange, casino – how convenient really! -, or cheque-cashing service.
2. Integration. Basically, the launderer tries to integrate illicit funds with legitimate business. The launderer covers his tracks by using banks and other low-risk businesses or institutions to integrate their assets. The type of financial institution will determine the nature of the laundering. Retail banks are most exposed when handling cash; investment banks are most exposed when dealing with businesses and high net worth individuals.
3. Layering. The objective of the layering stage is to disguise the origins of criminal funds. The launderer creates complex layers of financial transactions designed to hinder the audit trail, disguise the origins of the criminal funds, and provide anonymity. Examples of layering techniques are sales of illegally-derived luxury assets (usually at inflated prices), back-to-back loans involving illegally-derived funds, and bogus letter of credit transactions.
There are three areas where the money launderer is most vulnerable to detection:
- initial entry of cash into the financial system
- funds transfers within and from the financial system
- cash flows abroad.
*Shell Companies
A shell company is a non-trading company used as a vehicle for various corporate manoeuvres.
How do you hide a million in cash? Staying one step ahead of the law has lead to increasingly sophisticated methods of hiding dirty money and we all know how much criminals love playing hide and seek with the law.
Money launderers can use any of the following methods to hide dirty money:
1. Transport the cash to another country and dispose it there.
2. Put the cash into a bank or other financial business.
3. Purchase a luxury item.
4. Channel money through a shell company*.
5. Channel money through a legitimate company.
6. Purchase instruments such as travellers' cheques or bankers' drafts, which are legitimate instruments used for overseas exchange purposes
The money laundering process may vary depending on the criminal organisation’s available laundering mechanisms. However, all criminals attempting to launder funds have three requirements in common, which are to:
- conceal the true ownership and origin of the funds,
- maintain control over the proceeds,
- convert cash into other assets as quickly as possible.
And to do so, they need to go three stages. Irrespectively of whether these three stages occur simultaneously, overlap, or occur as separate and distinct phases, the money laundering process stages are:
1. Placement. At this stage, the launderer needs to transform banknotes into non-cash assets. The launderer’s first step is to place this physical cash with some form of financial institution and/or to purchase some form of asset. They usually prefer to purchase luxurious items using the illegally-derived cash. Alternatively, it could be deposited in a bank or placed through a non-bank financial institution such as a currency exchange, casino – how convenient really! -, or cheque-cashing service.
2. Integration. Basically, the launderer tries to integrate illicit funds with legitimate business. The launderer covers his tracks by using banks and other low-risk businesses or institutions to integrate their assets. The type of financial institution will determine the nature of the laundering. Retail banks are most exposed when handling cash; investment banks are most exposed when dealing with businesses and high net worth individuals.
3. Layering. The objective of the layering stage is to disguise the origins of criminal funds. The launderer creates complex layers of financial transactions designed to hinder the audit trail, disguise the origins of the criminal funds, and provide anonymity. Examples of layering techniques are sales of illegally-derived luxury assets (usually at inflated prices), back-to-back loans involving illegally-derived funds, and bogus letter of credit transactions.
There are three areas where the money launderer is most vulnerable to detection:
- initial entry of cash into the financial system
- funds transfers within and from the financial system
- cash flows abroad.
*Shell Companies
A shell company is a non-trading company used as a vehicle for various corporate manoeuvres.
Dealing with Bullying, Harrassment or Victimisation
UK Survey has shown that bullies, in the work environment, are not predominantly male as most people think (another stereotype perhaps?). On the contrary, the ratio of male to female bullies is approximately 50:50! Yet still about three-quarters, or 75%, of the targets are female.
Bullying is rarely physical and instead tends to be psychological. The most common type of bullying is constant and unjustifiable criticism. This can lead to stomach problems and stress. However, bullying is not synonymous with harassment.
The survey also reveals that is that most bullies try to make others look inadequate, so they do not have to face up to their own shortcomings. It often happens, that bullies belong to the more senior level of the organisation they belong to, and they target to someone on his team because he knows the person consists a threat to his position.
This type of bullies flourish in poorly managed environment, where bullying others into submission helps bullies to keep their jobs. The bad news are, that bullies are usually charming and accomplished liars, which makes confronting them a bit problematic for the target, especially if he is not as popular.
Harassment can take many different forms including racial and sexual harassment; bullying is just one form of harassment. If an employee feels they have been subjected to any form of discrimination, harassment, victimisation or bullying, they should immediately contact their manager and/or their HR Manager.
Bullying is rarely physical and instead tends to be psychological. The most common type of bullying is constant and unjustifiable criticism. This can lead to stomach problems and stress. However, bullying is not synonymous with harassment.
The survey also reveals that is that most bullies try to make others look inadequate, so they do not have to face up to their own shortcomings. It often happens, that bullies belong to the more senior level of the organisation they belong to, and they target to someone on his team because he knows the person consists a threat to his position.
This type of bullies flourish in poorly managed environment, where bullying others into submission helps bullies to keep their jobs. The bad news are, that bullies are usually charming and accomplished liars, which makes confronting them a bit problematic for the target, especially if he is not as popular.
Harassment can take many different forms including racial and sexual harassment; bullying is just one form of harassment. If an employee feels they have been subjected to any form of discrimination, harassment, victimisation or bullying, they should immediately contact their manager and/or their HR Manager.
Friday, 25 January 2008
Reading an adventure is more respectable than having one
The first email I got in my inbox today had the same subject as the title of this post. "Reading an adventure is more respectable than having one".... says who?!?!
My friend, as the natural-born reporter she is, writes in her email that she noticed this tagline at an 07:50am train, at Holborn station, London.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the tagline that an author has chosen to advertise her book with. The book's titled Temple, which is also the name of the leading female character.
But what a shocking statement for a genuine late-to-sleep-early-to-rise... Londonfreniac. Her email goes on as following:
She definitely made my day.
Yours?
My friend, as the natural-born reporter she is, writes in her email that she noticed this tagline at an 07:50am train, at Holborn station, London.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the tagline that an author has chosen to advertise her book with. The book's titled Temple, which is also the name of the leading female character.
But what a shocking statement for a genuine late-to-sleep-early-to-rise... Londonfreniac. Her email goes on as following:
- Who would like to read one rather than live an adventure?
- Which audience is this advertisement - which is repulsively conservative, to my opinion- addressing?
- And what exactly does it suggest? That we live in a society that respects you more when you simply exist, lifeless as an object, than when you actually "seize the day"?
She definitely made my day.
Yours?
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